This midterm experience is one great example -- of that feeling of how someone gives me that middle finger seriously immorally. Shame on me, I can't answer well to questions from my mates, from my parents & friends. I'm so slow by now. Something has gotten into me.

I know I know, this academic field I am currently pissed about. I don't know who to blame, what to blame and why blame when you can't put the blame on me --- I can bare it sometimes but my insides shed a tear to fight.

I find myself annoying.Just that...I have an active mind but I have a lazy body. Yes, I lost my goal. My insides're silently turning to grey every time I attain those red marks especially from my majors. I know I could've done better, still I know, I know...my fault, fault.

Subjects are getting lead-footed damn loaded. Circuit problems all the way, capacitors, inductors, resistors & all these tiny components are so cute I hope my grade are not as cute as these components. I thought JAVA only dealt with those codes like System.out.println daaaaaaaaaamn I just knew there're pseudo codes, algorithms & there're alot of things need to be memorized & these deals with deep analyzation,focus & concentration.Memorization is my weakness. Concepts I needa understand "MORE BETTER".

I just lack practice. IKR.