Just woke up. I dream weird, well I guess everyone does. Almost every time I dream, I'm being topless, seriously. But I still go on and the people who I'm talking to don't hesitate or feel awkward whenever we have a conversation. I always dream of being topless, what the..?? So I searched over google what it meant. I found out I was being guileless, vulnerable, and willing to nurture. Somehow true... Well yea, topless FTW. LOL jk. At least my question is now answered ^_^. Well, I haven't studied yet, so I guess I need to work it all out. And uh, I need to a attend the party later, we will be hosting it. Ma,Pa and Ate didn't go home yesterday, I wonder why *heart beats*. God Bless, I need to cook rice? idk.?, Ma's goin to kill me. LOOL, I so wanna talk to you, but naaahh...........K byes.

Sorry I just typed it via mobile phone :(

Hey I just saw this picture from somewhere, made me sigh. Uh,,, I wish I had a brother for real. I mean, he could've been as fashionable as this guy, uh. He could've been my buddy forever. Idk, makes me feel envious not having a brother or something to others. That's what I do not have. Well, this is just a picture. Well, anyway...I feel so uneasy since the day before Christmas eve. IDK. I have not been studying for my effin exams. I always see this someone online, makes me want to delete and block him/her forever. The feck I can not for some reasons. harhar

Sorry about me, being rude to my posts. I know, right.

I can't write well for three days, what has gotten into me? I need to finish this stupid english ten journal entries, I only wrote two. WOW.

So yeah, remember? Two of my classmates gave my mobile number to a so called admirer stranger. But heaps, he's really getting into my nerves, BORING, I'm not even interested to have a convo. Like hello!!! We're not even that close.

So from the 18th, the convo went well, not after sometime he diverted the convo about me having a boyfriend. That I did not reply and I'm not even interested to open that topic to a weird effin stranger. Made him sound desperate to have one.

Oh so, I stopped replying and I kept on lying that I'm not using the unlit text and there's so signal, blah blah blah.

9 am yesterday he texted Suplada..

And I was like jkcdasjfgsdjhsdjasbdjfbdjsfbaskjaskfkggdkjgask what the hell is this guy talking about???? what has gotten into him? HAHAHAHA

He even asked for me to add him on facebook because he is already banned for four straight days (if I so know, he had been adding strangers he likes wuahahhahahaha)

And he started chatting me actually, then I went off and logged in to my other account and then on to the other then, so I went on and off, the hell I was so bastos (i know right)

So he messaged me Oi, cge lage kag kawala?
asa ka? asa naman ka?

So I was liiiiiiiiiiiiiike, STFUUUUUUU sdfkjsksjksfdjksdf who are you to ask me those and demand me to talk to you????

WOW I was so being rude rude rude again,

Yea he then texted me Ganhan raba unta ko nimo ka abeh nako ug buotan ka...

Well dude, maling akala ka naman so much kase eh. Don't assume so much. What convo do you want? Mm, you want me to text you 24/7 HOY!!!! I can't even text to my crush every time I try to text them. You just don't know me. I'm only up to having crushes, not into relationships. And FYI, I'm so loyal to my crush though my crush have no effin clue of what I really feel inside. So, be a kpop fan dude, you'll feel much better if you do. Stop chasin when you can't even try to catch/reach on who you're chasin.

LOOK what you've done!!! you made me remember of my 5-year crush in high school :| He had been my ultimate crush, I just did not tell and I was pretending to like others though all those times...All I like was him :| (emo mode*)

So yesterday we went to the province. Mm, since I was not online, the only way to burst my overflowing thoughts was by sending group messages to random people so I would feel a bit more relieved. I have been bombing their inbox, and now I feel they're being annoyed by me. Maybe they were thinking... think why the hell was she sending me stuffs in english, feelers or maybe can't she just stfu pa english english pa. Okay sorry, my fault all my big effin fault.

Hah, I just felt like sending messages yesterday because, I like seeing my phone display the progress of sending the messages and my eyes are sort of being played by this somewhat like screen saver. But nah, I have been really annoying since yesterday. They must have been thinking that I was only thinking of myslef all those/these times.

Yes, during holidays, I always think of myself myself all for myself. Not to mention being vain and rude. ^^

Why is it so hard for me to tell what's killing me to my family.

These days, I have been so maarte already to myslef. Oh, yes I admit it. I mean, c'mon it's a part of growing up. Asking if I put some gloss or eye shadows or whatever make up I try on really gets my nerves on. Can't you just stfu. Just accept the fact that I'm changing.

Let’s face it. We’ve changed. We’ve all changed. Somewhere between school ending and school starting. We’ve all gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken and friendships were fucked over. New loves started and new people came into our lives. We no longer hang out with our circle of friends that we thought was going to be there for us “forever”. We no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We’ve all changed. Some for the better and some for the worse

I'm not changing for worse anyway, I'm for the better. and stfu.

Holidays seem to be like a time for me to reflect and reflect and reflect about myself, myself, my deeds and back to myself. This time, I am often selfish. Because I'm actually sick and tired about school, yes, the ESET people know me already. The officers always call for a meeting, a meeting and another meeting. Hmmm, I'm just a newbie being a block representative and like I'm carrying the role of a legit ESET officer.The heck, they know my father, then my sister's mates know me as well because I look like a miniature of her. What the feather duster!

I'm just so scared to do some stupid things. I am not that free like the other teenagers do. But yeah. It's for my own good for my parents to be freakin strict. They become so annoying, my day won't be complete without them shouting at me.

When you say something like moving on, I know you can't help but look back. Well, perhaps it's a part of moving on. Things just get draggy for sometime. But as the days roll on, you can't really move on : P

Well, I'm actually describing the indecisive self.

My background audio is killing my ears. Sareeh, idk how to do some magic to my voice. Oh wells, just mute if you don't like it, this is my page, you can't just command me not to put it : P

Anyway, after my intro of my audio is the whole song of which I am singing in an unmelodious retarded way. Some verses of the song seemed so tight, perhaps.

That mini heart attack you get when you skip a stair.

So I have been multitasking all day long. From texting to facebooking, and uuh doing some boring old chores. Hah, nah really doing chores, a donut butt like me won't do some unless Ma/Pa will start screaming for the fifth time.

I have become so insensitive when they start to ask some favor from me. I mean, can't they just even do it for themselves??!! Why let someone do it for them? Hello!! They're the ones supposed to be doing all these, stop passing it on me , like my name is the overused name in the four walls of the house. They're quite old, they need to stretch their muscles and exercise their body by not letting me do what they want (speaking of doing the chores).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not writing for the sake of just writing. Gaaah, I kinda need to improve my writing skills , I suck at these/this. LOL I'm not even sure which term to use. Blah Blah*

What's the use? It's a new year and you're just going to promise the same thing you promised yourself last year. When are you actually going to make a change?

Fashion has to reflect who you are, what you feel at the moment and where you're going. It doesn't have to be bright, doesn't have to be loud. Just have to be you

I just don't get it why those two girls yesterday, can't help but back bight us in front of them. I don't really care, so that probably meant , we stand out from all the rest. Whatever you two, idgf.

The more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you. Because everything beautiful you see on the inside of them, suddenly you're able to see on the outside of them too.

YES I AM RUDE

I just can't stop setting my own standards. I mean, hello. No one can stop me anyway. There's nothing bad being idealistic.

My heart is being so cold these days, it only heats up and beats for only one person uncontrollably and unknowingly.

So as I was saying we did a production number earlier. Yes, I lied to my parents. I went to camague. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand. I got two new texts from two different strangers from our school. Well, iz okay. Kind of used to it. But, I really hate it when people then ask me if I got a boyfriend or someone right away though we only got 3 replies to each other yet. I mean c'mon are you texting me for asking me if I have one? Ohgeeez, It turns me off right away.

Unless I saw you, unless I know you, unless I know your background.

Yes I do talk to strangers. Azn strangers with class and humor.

So we did dance in the middle of the party. A production dance number we did. We made the dance jolly and added some comedy to it. The crowd just can't stop being entertained by us, especially when my gay mate started to dance differently with his/her unique gay moves. Everyone got a kick out of our presentation.

I did enjoyed dancing and cwalking. I was so proud of my mate, he cwalked as well. *sigh* I wish I deleted some files from the video camera. While we were dancing, it ran out of space, insufficient.

But oh wells, I'm just so filled with somewhat true happiness tonight. A lot of situations I did encounter.
th
I could say I wasn't performing good being a block representative just for this event. I'm tired, sick of working things out.

I bring back all my honor to Lord Jesus, God , my savior and Father for this capability I am having.

thanks everyone
b182
kiyoshii
idsbatchmates
new scs friends

So I met my internet friend today. The situation before we met was kinda funny, but yea, leave it to both of us. I know, right?

Well anyway, he was so quiet though. I was supposed to make a convo but my best bud was in between of us LOL. We were talkin bout the 'drum business' and no other else.

So yea, he helped me a lot. I just couldn't imagine how'll our party go without drums. Imagine a party using a beat box only, gaah so cheapo.

And I saw him again before I went home. I lied to my parents that I went to their house during the night. LOL

Today was a fairy tail. LOL just kidding. But really, it's one of the most unusual days of my enlightened life < 3

I received my first gift today, thank you Grace jungoy! : 3

The only thing that disappoints me is when you made me believe when it was not.

And I feel so low bat tonight. Have been tired of having mixed emotions which turned me out being sleepy at the moment. I just feel so lucky. But I'm actually starving T~T , somebody feed me :*

Thanks to Kiyoshi my problem was solved. Hopefully, we will get the drum set from his place..

This is one of my hell week.

I kinda made friends to other people from the higher year level. Sigh*
I hate, but I'm lovin my work. What the hell. It's quite stressful but exciting. I love how my life's adventure is rolling on.

I just so love my Jesus, GoD..deep down in my calm heart :)

I was indeed rude to someone tonight.

I was like about to go home past six in the evening. It was raining quite hard. I got to walk on the wet pathway carrying my pink umbrella with me. A guy in a bright yellow shirt was running across me fast to get himself dry under the roof of the clinic.

I passed by him slowly. He was azn. I was thinking that I would let him share my umbrella with him until the pathway near the exit. I was thinking that it would be flirty-ish if I do that but my intention is freakin clean anyway. I just passed by him. I walked away, guilty.

I knew he was waiting for me to offer, but I didn't.

I was over thinking about the situation again. Realizing he could've been my friend. But anyway, I started to feel like a looser.

Outside the school, it was still raining so hard. I waited for a jeepney nearby the street. I saw girl crossing the street, she's getting wet and was also waiting for a ride. She was carrying a laptop. I sighed.

"Hey, wanna share?"
"If it's okay"

I felt happy enough to relieve my disappointment earlier. :)

I made her ride first so she wont be that much wet. :)

Dark night casted as the snakes hiss on the grasslands.

Hoping to be rescued up on an abandoned old tree.

My curious thoughts turned crappy to worse as I heard a voice somewhere I can not locate.

A bright search light glistened from a far.

As I shouted for help...Nobody answered.

But a scream of a guy's deep voice disrupted my state of being on a tree.

Realizing that de ja vu is happening to me.

The tree started to shake. Eartquake!

My white dress turned bloody to red to black.

A morning shout out from my alarm bugged me.

I then woke up from that weird unexplainable nightmare on my cluttered silky bed.

After I got myself ready for school, I blow dried my hair to emphasize my layers.

I have been concerned on how I look when strangers see me.

But my grade matters more than my looks.

So I arrived early at school. Waiting for my mates in the lounge.

A guy in white walked buy and winked at my chinky eyes.

I ended up having a poker face but butterflies from my stomach grew.

I just stared at him while a snap interrupted my sight from my mate.

In just a flash, he was then gone.

Lunch time I got a text asking how was my Math quiz,

It was alright, I aced it, I replied.

I was really curious who was it, I called the unregistered number.

It rang thrice, and someone might have picked it up.

And I heard the tune of my favorite song.

Weird....

Hello? Do I know you? - Iasked

A teenage guy's voice was telling me he misses me.

Wha- what do you mean? - I was confused

Then I heard a loud scream over the mobile yelling my name until it echoed in my mind.

The phone hung up.

At two pm, most of my mates were not around in our Bio class.

Our teacher gave us surprise quiz.

Luckily I aced it again.

But,I wonder why.

Situations like this came to be so unexpected.

I hurriedly checked my phone.

It was vibrating and ringing since three hours ago.

I never bothered to check it lately, I was feeling sick and tired though.

53 messages, 18 missed calls

I was beginning to feel strange, panic,cold,nervous, and horrified.

I was alone in the Bio room while reading the text message and glancing at the preserved fetus around the corner.

A guy knocked the door twice.

He was eight meters away from me.

Asking how was my Bio quiz.

It was alright. I aced it..I answered.

I paused, my heart began to pump fast.

I was asked the same question earlier but in a different subject though.

I glanced back at the door, he was gone.

My tears run from my watery eyes.

I ran and carried my feet as fast as I can to get out from the creepy Bio room.

I read a text from my friend...

That my boyfriend died from a plane crash.

I received a text from my doctor...

That I am carrying a child inside my tummy for three months.

I got a text from my mom...

That I need to go home and stop school since my dad's company was already bankrupt.

I drive myself insane.

How could I be sane?

short story-poem.

Past eight tonight, I started solving my maths. I don't know how to prove problems anymore :'[
Luckily someone pressured me to do so.

I so hate procrastinating but I still do it.

Anyway, I'm off to sleep in a bit. No one special is online. He's not my facebook friend either. I don't even know his name yet he knows mine. sigh*

Err, so today was wasted. I woke up at nine. An unusual time for me to wake up. Yes, I did overslept. I was over thinking figuring out the name of that guy whose got that azn smile and chinky eyes who was smiling at me while I was smile at the mirror. Uh, don't get me wrong, I do not like him but I kinda start to like him though. He's cute and retarded. LOL jk, retarded but hot!

Well anyway, there was no water, I got stuck up in my room. I was taught by my sister to teach me the guitar chords of Just the way you are by Bruno Mars. And the crap, I got so rusty in playing that instrument.

Still bored, I was expired with my unli text so I told my sis to reload me at the store. All I did was to send group messages and bugging every single inbox of the people I feel like bugging. Haha.

My eyes are kinda stressed right now. I overslept and there's much radiation from my mobile while texting.

My best friend sent me ten messages of a short story poem. Some parts were inspired by my life love story. And heaps, I sorta remember what he inhumanly did to me. The heck?!

Luckily I recovered from that true to life night mare.

I made my own short story too, but not as much flowery as my best friend's. But yeah.

& LoL, I just can't dismiss this random azn guy from my school off my mind. lol

THE END of the ICCF ^_^

So yesterday was like the end of the ICCF day. I felt so friggin lucky cos I met new people of random personalities I haven't encountered before. I just enjoyed it so much, I only felt 10% exhaustion lol.

So on Tuesday, gunna be back to my normal school days. I'm so excited <3. I hope I can retain my higher gpa T_T. I know I will, and I can because I always have Lord Jesus God in my heart<3 forever.

Yesterday was a driving lesson's day. My Papa taught me how to drive our car since he was quite free and I was so bored. So since yesterday was Eid al-Adha (Arabic: عيد الأضحى‎ 'Īdu l-'Aḍḥā) or "Festival of Sacrifice" the school was less populated. So we went to the grounds since there is much space for him to teach me the basics in driving. I was taught first about when to use the clutch, break and the accelerator. And before I change my gear, I should always step on the clutch before I change my gear or else the car's machine would die. So my first try started like turning on the car and then pushing the clutch and did the first gear and balancing and timing the clutch and accelerator and my first ride started off! And I could just sweat it out! But ... I encountered a problem about crossing over my hands of the steering wheel because I concentrated much more on the clutches, breaks and accelerator and I was so confused about crossing over my hand and multitasking is freakin hard! LOL

Back to school again. It's somewhat dusky to go back to my study habit routine .
The state of my mind is still in a dazy condition because I have been dwelling to some creepy crappy frustrating thoughts that my mind f*cking makes up since the first semester was about to end. I did quite well in the first semester though but I want to push & pressure myself to strive better to achieve the best. I don't know why sometimes, I procrastinate to no end until I fall asleep and then here comes tomorrow
.
I call it a teenage dilemma.

Packy won!

Lucky me! My friend bet for Margy while I bet for Packy for a 20 peso mobile load. Expectedly, Packy won. And Margarito’s right eye was swollen grotesquely. That hurts much more than what I reckon. Well done Manny Packy Wacky! \\\\m////

I lost 170 pesos

I am so irresponsible when it comes to money. I gave a sukli to that lady more than the money she gave to me. Now my mom won't give a tapal to me now.

So why do I disappear when you come near,
It makes me feel so small,
Why do I blow my lines, most every time,
Like I got no chance at all,

-Joe Brooks: Superman Lyrics

You have no idea how stupid I was that I like you for half a decade. It was all my fault.

I'll save my sorrows for tomorrow

Hey now, I won't cry
Baby I will dry my eyes



Mister pouty lips
How about a smile?



I know what you need
Boi I got the therapy


In my bed, you'll forget
Let me clear your mind



When you feel gone
I'll rock your bone


Baby I want you to know
When you want it, you can get it
Anytime that you like



- This is actually a lyrics from the song Lullaby by Joe Moe, I just did some minute changes

Is the fortune teller telling the truth?

All this time, naloko ako ng sarili kong kagaguhan. putekz.

I'm so confounded yet I can not do anything to oppress what I really feel.

I was such a baby back then
I hope I was not
But I was
You told me how you feel
I got pissed
I didn't know what to do
I never replied
I never knew
Then I like you
And I still do
Just like a domino
You like her
And you still do
I can't stop dwelling at you
So you do to her
Hey
I'm sorry
I was just being numb
Please.
Idk what to do seriously
I thought I moved on
Then I was trying to
I end up being cheated
I hope you wont be
I'm so lame
Excuse me
--
Take care
I just need to grow some balls
You need to grow some too
I mean
Yeah
*sigh*

Shape of the Heart

Just like this picture, if you flip one, it simply matches to the other...just the counterpart though. As we go on with what we feel...When you reckon you're not in the right turn, God allows U-turns anyway. Who knows? God knows.

So, my life is somewhat like this...

I'm yet so lucky for what I am having now. I have supportive friends,strict parents, approachable companions and the best God in my heart. Yes, I was over joyed, cheated, disappointed, confused , lunatic , pessimistic towards anything that a teenager would probably feel or do. I have been over thinking situations that keeps me dragging to fulfill my confusing present but I need to fill up my effin past. I hate the fact what my mind makes such random crap about situations that happened & fantasizing thing that I know would never happen unless I grow some balls.