kapooooooooooooi na kaayo ug chase ani nga dream. ugh dude, the effort, idk what's happening really. So cge nakog ka bagsak bagsak, well...dli xa bagsak para sa uban, pasar man xa pero it's so low what the *k. Tapossss, ganinang 12am, I woke up nag study ko para sa prelim sa amung cisco, nag basa napod ko sa 3 ka chapters, peru ga higda man ko nag basa, nakatulog ko, so nkamata ko pagka 2am. Dayuuuun, I remember nga naa man diay mi assignemnt sa basic electronics, az en ambot sa amung maestro gi nsa niya pag tudlo kay di man jod ko maka gets! damn, major man unta niiiii, so nag solve solve nlng ko--maygani naa koi photocopy tapos effort kaayo ko ug sulat sa one whole nga yellow paper 2 in the morning ... basta nabyaan nako akong cisco pagka hapit na 5am, natulog ko. Gi pukaw ko 6 na, tapos I have a class 7:00 P.E..---lucky dugayan ang maestra, so wala rako na late, makalipooooooong ang dance steps hahaiii ambot. Taposss after atu kay Cisco na, prelim, ga langya rjod ko i got 74.79, though ang passing is 60 uuuuuughhh lain kaayo oi wth is wrong with me, well..anyway wala man sad sa chapter 1-3 ang uban questions! apil man sad ang 4 & 5!!! ugh, 74.79 so poooooooor. pero para sa uban taas taas naxa, pero gamay japon xa uuugh!*

Dayun, ingun biya tu amung maayo nga maestro nga mag make-up class xa pag 1-3pm, kabalo ko nga conflict xa sa akong R.O.T.C. duty tiiime, so I was thinking nga major ni taposss nag effort ku ug assignment ganinang kadlawon---ok ra man siguro nga mu absent ko sa R.O. so ning absent ko sa R.O. dayon maayo kaayo amung maestro wa ning tunga @#$%^&*&^%$ i could really curse right now. naaah fml fml fml. ambooooT.

Tapos the subject after the next subject kay I got 12/15 but bonus quiz man to para makatabang ug pasar sa amung prelim, ti-aw mu nang 11 ra akong score over 50. Wow, major baya ni wth wth wth, taposss 12+11 = 23,---wala man gani na nakatunga sa 50 items! haynako. ambot gi malas malas najod ko. Hi LIFE!

Then naa pajoy practical exam sa basic electronics nga wa koi hanaw kay maayo lage kayo ang maestro. 3 hours ang naka laan para sa subject , mu abot 45 mins before the time what the *k! ambooot amboooot

Wa pajod nko gi lihok ang amung term paper, kay ga langay langay ko, dli kabalo mu prioritize. Tapossss I should be reviewing my maths right now kay mag quiz mi ugma, WTH. so many problems. Dayun di na kayo mi mag sturya ni crush crush. Waleyyy

ambooot. Gi sulayan napod ko ni God.
Sorry jood sa tanan nko sins & unconfessed sins :|

Well, brb, murag over na... I need to have my water & eucalyptus therapy pa...
haynako. basta BV jd ko.
so ga yaw yaw ko,
sorry if vernacular.
end-

I'm not doing any better.
I'm not topping the exams anymore.
I got low scores.
I procrastinate even more.
I got disenchanted.
Being enchanted has expiration dates. Only lasts for a week or two for me.
I lost my focus.
I got ADHD.
I need to move onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn to reading books & drinking more waterrrrrr.
I don't know who my crush is O_o.
So... back to reality.
Damnn engineering subjects.

I fell in love with my new music in this blog page lols

So I want to learn Thai Lang now, enough about Korean/s

ไม่รู้ว่านานแค่ไหน ที่ฉันต้องทนกับทุกสิ่ง
mai roo waa naan kae nai tee chun dtong ton gup took sing
I don't know how much longer that I have to put up with you.

ปิดบังความจริงในใจทุกๆอย่าง
bit bung kwaam jing nai jai took took yaang
I've been hiding everythings in my heart.

ทุกครั้งที่เราพบกัน ทุกครั้งที่เธอหันมา
took krung tee rao pop gun took krung tee ter hun maa
Everytime we meet each other, Everytime we face each other.

ที่ฉันเฉยๆ รู้ไหมฉันฝืนแค่ไหน
tee chun cher-ee cher-ee roo mai chun feun kae nai
Though I am indifferent. Do you know how much have I have to force myself?

ได้ยินไหม หัวใจฉัน มันกำลังบอกรักๆเธออยู่
dai yin mai hua jai chun mun gum-lung bork ruk ruk ter yoo
Can't you hear my heart calling for you, loving you.

แต่ฉันไม่อาจ จะเปิดเผยใจ ออกไปให้ใครได้รู้
dtae chun mai art ja bert pia jai ork bai hai krai dai roo
But I can't release my heart out for anyone to know.

ได้ยินไหม หัวใจฉัน ยังคอยอยู่ตรงนั้น
dai yin mai hua jai chun yung koi yoo dtrong nun
Can't you hear my heart's waiting there for you.

รอให้เธอเปิดดู และหวังเพียงแค่เธอรู้ สักวันหนึ่ง
ror hai ter bert doo lae wung piang kae ter roo suk wun neung
Waiting for you to feel it. I was hoping that you will realize someday.

ทั้งทีฉันก็รัก ทั้งที่ฉันก็รู้สึก แต่ส่วนลึกข้างในยังไม่กล้า
tung tee chun gor ruk tung tee chun gor roo seuk dtae suan leuk kaang nai yung mai glaa
Though I love you, though I feel (your love). But deep down inside, I can't dare to tell you.

ทุกครั้งที่เราพบกัน ทุกครั้งที่เธอหันมา
took krung tee rao pop gun took krung tee ter hun maa
Everytime we meet each other, Everytime we face each other.

ที่ฉันเฉยๆ รู้ไหมฉันฝืนแค่ไหน
tee chun cher-ee cher-ee roo mai chun feun kae nai
Though I am indifferent. Do you know how much have I have to force myself?

ได้ยินไหม หัวใจฉัน มันกำลังบอกรักๆเธออยู่
dai yin mai hua jai chun mun gum-lung bork ruk ruk ter yoo
Can't you hear my heart calling for you, loving you.

แต่ฉันไม่อาจ จะเปิดเผยใจ ออกไปให้ใครได้รู้
dtae chun mai art ja bert pia jai ork bai hai krai dai roo
But I can't release my heart out for anyone to know.

ได้ยินไหม หัวใจฉัน ยังคอยอยู่ตรงนั้น
dai yin mai hua jai chun yung koi yoo dtrong nun
Can't you hear my heart's waiting there for you.

รอให้เธอเปิดดู และหวังเพียงแค่เธอรู้ สักวันหนึ่ง
ror hai ter bert doo lae wung piang kae ter roo suk wun neung
Waiting for you to feel it. I was hoping that you will realize someday.

(Interlude)

ได้ยินไหม หัวใจฉัน มันกำลังบอกรักๆเธออยู่
dai yin mai hua jai chun mun gum-lung bork ruk ruk ter yoo
Can't you hear my heart calling for you, loving you.

แต่ฉันไม่อาจ จะเปิดเผยใจ ออกไปให้ใครได้รู้
dtae chun mai art ja bert pia jai ork bai hai krai dai roo
But I can't release my heart out for anyone to know.

ได้ยินไหม หัวใจฉัน ยังคอยอยู่ตรงนั้น รอให้เธอเปิดดู
dai yin mai hua jai chun yung koi yoo dtrong nun ror hai ter bert doo
Can't you hear my heart waiting there for you, waiting for you to feel it.

และหวังเพียงเธอจะรู้ ว่าคนๆนี้รักเธออยู่
lae wung piang ter ja roo waa kon kon nee ruk ter yoo
And I was hoping that you will realize that this woman still love you.

ยังไงขอให้เธอรู้ สักวันหนึ่ง
yung kor hai ter roo suk wun neung
Any way, some day, you will know......



Read more: http://www.ethaimusic.com/boyd-kosiyabong/suk-wun-neung.html#ixzz1BpVxI0eu

So I just done watching this movie :] Thanks to Anghel he shared this to me ^_^

All of us, have someone who is hidden in the bottom of our hearts. ♥

This movie is something that struck me a lot, since I liked his guy for five years but never confessed. I mean she's so brave to tell this guy he liked after three years, she didn't know that the guy also loved & liked her since the day they were in the play.

well, this is my fave part of the movie :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zix38pCecvM

the girl confessed her love, the guy gave his secret scrap book to the girl that night...

damn, should watch it :)

Strike one - oh snap!!!
Strike two - asdfghjkkl not again!!!!! !__!
Strike three - WT* !@#$%^&*&^%$#$%^&**&^%$

So I have this guy mate, to get this straight. I'm now so slightly pissed|sh-t faced|upset with my awesome nerd ragic mate. When he|she talks about,insists about my answers...saying,proclaiming they're wrong & acting,talking all knowingly that he|she's right (so I'm wrong). The fact that I start not to believe in my capabilities, the doubtful me then comes out. When I know that I'm more capable of thinking/analyzing & answering more correctly than him, (I'm not bragging, but uhh.. IDS rules). So yeah, like he did it to me more than thrice already. I got wrong answers from his so all knowing suggestions. Better trust my own instincts, not even others, just myself. Sucks. Makes me feel like a loner..."Just myself"

LOL.really pissed me off, I almost failed! Lucky, I told the teacher not to record it since he haven't discussed it clearly.Lucky, not only me is saved....but the class as well.

I just noticed that my posts are quite selfish & emotionally nonsense. All about my crushes and confusions and intuitions. Not even thinking of the current events, well anyway. I just scanned over my diary... I can't believe I wrote this to my five year crush HAHA. (I just wrote this over a year ago, never gave it though). I love to play with my thoughts. Anyway, here it goes.

Dear you,
i think about you,not always but often. I know you’re far away from me. You just don’t know the feeling of having much butterflies in my stomach you’re giving, when we seldom(sometimes) talk. We both know what happened years ago, that only less people could remember it, or (maybe) you also forgot about it. But anyhow, i know, we both want a nice future, and we both have big dreams, stable job in the future, make our parents proud more than what we gave them during our high school years. I’m glad that you are there now, in a new environment. It’s okay if you don’t mind me, though we don’t communicate much, i have connections to those people who are close to you that’s why, i know what you’re up to and updates from you. Anyhow, being a secret admirer of you for almost 5 years, is kind of tough. There are lots of temptations. I was pretending I liked that somebody, but for reals, all I want (like) is you. LOLs. Well, i reckon , i can’t see the best thing between you and I yet. But what we have gone through, is frickin priceless than anybody else could have spent together.(well, prolly saying, everything happened through an accident that’s why there’s this cold space between us) The reason that I never confessed that I like you, because I think our friendship (though we frickin seldom make convos) is way better than us as lovers at the moment. God Bless. Take Care. Be my inspiration.
-you’re loyal secret admirer-

Well I moved on to that kind of guy. For reals, I seldom write long about my crushes. LOL. These are actually the people I never got bored writing about. :)

And to the new one :)

Anghel dear,

Hey this is 'Stefy'. I feel so over reacting right now. But to be honest, I was so flattered when you told me you trust me. And you started sharing your secrets to me (Like they say...praises are like perfume, just smell the perfume but never swallow it. But I reckon, I tasted the perfume... Is it that bad?) And you started sharing your deepest secrets to me that maybe only a few of us knew. I was quite insensitive when you shared those to me... thinking that during those times, I was also bringing a heavy hatred feeling to someone (I reckon, it was more than your problem). I still listened to your story. & It's sad...I mean really. You had been so loyal and loving towards her. But everything you told me didn't sink into me yet during that night. For me, we are secret super friends since we unusually talk personally when we're here in school...

Yes, I told you about that 11:11 thingy, we wished together.
Your wish? I wonder... I never asked but I always bother.

We sent each others replies those nights until midnight. Excited mush for your name to appear in my inbox, but weeks later, we stopped sharing thoughts together.

Everything you told me started to sink into my mind slowly. Scrolling and rereading your messages, I noticed you indirectly confessed..

When you told me you're comfortable towards me,
I felt so fly, flattered than anyone could be.

Your swag so clean and rare to find,
24/7 you're now running on my mind.

Worrying if things would go wrong,
You know I'm not that strong,
I really don't know where this lunatic feeling belong.

Maybe this is just an infatuation
Made by my mere imagination...

`Coz I fantasize situations,
Sometimes I don't know where to apply my limitations,
All these confusions,
I cannot understand even simple signs and punctuations.

I don't really know what I am to you,
But for all I know..
You enchant but confuse me,
That's what you always do.

Don't get me wrong,
I'm not hurrying things up,
I just want to get us close enough.

I never intended to put malice,
But because of my fickle mind hindi yun maaalis

E N D

Crushes are just crushes. Don't worry, I will never grow some balls to tell you both how much you enchant, confuse and mean to me :)

Inspirations are just inspirations.

To top it all up, it is because of Jesus in me, why I see these beautiful sides of you. :)

Dear Ma,
Please don't ruin my mood tonight. I'm hype & I feel fly.

&

Dear Pa,
Please stop blabbering and joining Ma about my mistakes, you could've been a priest. Sick of your sermons.

& to you both, I love the way you parents annoy me :'>

Makes me feel it's new year everyday ^_^
I never felt creepy inside this home,
It drives bad ass spirits away,
They never want to listen, I know.

Say what?

nonsense again :|

Such a nice story.
Nice voice quality.
HD video.
Cinematography so simple.

wew.

It's just so hard...when the way I act is so opposite to what I feel.

I always think and pay attention to what people will say.

If this is a secret, how could I even be safe and play?

I'm starting to dig into you,

Your words struck me a lot,

I just can't tell...

To me you're new, so brand new.

Bizarre,

It bothers me how confusion grows again and again and again?

I'm so tired

I feel so super used

I don't even want to taste that bitterness & pain again

For all the struggles I heaps survived...

I know you're a gift to my life,

But everyone's a gift,

How could you stand out from all the rest of the gifts I receive?

Or is it...

I can be in love but I just don't know?

____________________________________
here I go again, idk idk idk idk idk

I call him "Anghel" he just don't know.

Ti.aw mu nang mu sulpot rag kalit, makulbaan jud gud ku.

hahaiii. :)

Part 3 (please read the 1st part before the 2nd part LOL)


2 0 1 1

New year!

I saw his sexy back, ajhsdkasjjdhdasjhjhajk. I was like, he shouldnt see me like this, so I went on with what I was doing...

That night, I sent a group message, I included him.. it goes something like..

"Nakita nga kita, ngunit bakit yung sexy back mo lang ang nakita ng aking mumunting mga mata?"
-LOL

after three mins, his named appeared in my inbox

"Philosophy in/of Life:

Unsaon manang naay uyab nga murag WALA?

maypa nang wala nga murag NAA! daghan pa!"

and the tag below is just ahaha :D

I was confused if it was a group or personal message...

I replied - Mao nay bungga!

(better to have crushes than being committed, Can be replaced anytime LOL. anyway..)

Him: ahaha. Haven't seen ya today.

sjkaksjdksjhskajajkkj, what?! change topic?! Why do you even need to see me??!?! *heartbeats*
---------------------------------------------------------------------

I mean, I can't force myself not to assume for a little while.. sigh*

I always go hype every time we're both classmates, IDK. I can't just act normal O:

Well yea, teenage dilemmas.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for another stupid entry, uhm, my momma's gon kill me and ditch me from this laptop, latuuurs readers.

Magpopost na po ako ng matino. Si mama kasiiii T_T
K byes.

You must read the blog below this before reading this :)

Part 2

We just made long long convos that day...
I thought his name would never appear in my inbox..well, that's okay.

Christmas is fast approaching...heard of that SMP thingy? he texted me why was I SMP O_O. Because he is... Well, i just joined that kind of fan page for the sake of joining, I was bored LOL.

i was like asdfghjkl; why this topic? O:

okay, a friendly convo and so on...

idk, he told me the reason behind him and his ex... that was a sad story : |
I don't know if I should comfort or what or.... IDK.. well yea,

IDK.

sorry this is such a stupid entry.
---------

well yea, the sweetest thing for me was when we both wished at 11:11pm, New year's eve : )

--------

(I just lost my focus, my mom is blabbering from my back, Kbyes. need to review... )

For the girls :

What is it to you when a guy tells you that he's comfortable talking to you...that he thinks you can be trusted?

For the guys :

What is it to you when you tell a girl that you're comfortable talking to her... that for you, she can be trusted?

IDK. I have been thinking about this guy almost 24/7. He told me those phrases... Uhmmm... The story is kinda long...I will just make it brief...

*I lost my paper where I have written everything about this story :|*
Okay...

He's the type of guy who caught my eyes,the way he moves,
his swag so clean which is so rare to find. Let's say, I admire him. But that feeling was covered by some anon, I don't even want to reminisce...I was so hopeless those days, He's so out of my reach, There's no reason for us to make convos or something... How could we talk about such random things? hmmm...That's what I thought...

I got his digits because I'm the block rep, and friends and blockmates ask me informations whenever there are events... I seldom include him in my group messages, once... he replied and started a conversation about school stuffs until midnight, I mean we're not that super friends ...But there we were...we started at one topic, and with not even knowing it, we’re on another. Where there are no awkward silences, trying to think of something to say. Just conversations filled about school stuffs. Kind of serious but a friendly convo. I just don't know when to apply my jokes and teases..But we're having convos like the ones that seem endless.

I taught him about 11:11 ---- making a wish and making it happen He was curious, he wanted to give it a shot....So that night we wished together...I was hesitant to ask him what he wished for...

End of part 1 :)