So I feel conditioned right now.

Forgive me, I'm sure there're lots of typos & wrong grammar, almost 1 am. I'm tired. Happy valentines! :*

Here goes the story of the sophomore turned junior guy & I while I was in high school.

Way back almost two years ago. You know I have a small crush to this guy. When you're single, of course you're free to have as many crushes as you want. But that was just a small, super minute itchy quite 3 percent-ish crush, I was stung. We got even closer during summer since I kind of taught `em cwalk & yeah. We got closer & closer & closer, I treated `em more like a brother, no more special feelings.

Summer 2009. I was then into vblogging & cwalking. I influenced him, I taught him how to, he did what I said & he even made a dedication vidy to me. Well, that was quite sweet to think, but during those times I took it for granted without knowing something was behind it.

We almost got same hobbies--& he's also a blogger & loves making foreign friends. He's got lots of pretty foreign girl friends & he's also fun of collecting & making fan signs. I think he asked me & I asked for him to make me one too `twas a deal. Of course, no doubt I'm sort of vain, I immediately wrote his name on a white paper & took myself a pic with that paper. The next day, on his birthday, I gave it as a present I reckon. He was like wow & I was like :). Really, to tell you honestly, I did it coz I liked doing it, not because I like him, because I know there was something in exchange. To spoil the story, I didn't receive any exchange fan sign. But `twas kays.

New school year opens. In the middle of the school year:

Sad news from him I heard. His father died :c. Think I was the most affected one during that time. So I gave my condolences to him & went to the wake of course, with friends. We had a small talk. I know he can bare & handle it. The burial was comin up. It was about mid June or July I forgot. Being a senior everyone was busy about the review for entrance exams but I really found time to go to the burial, my two besties were with me. I saw him in the Cathedral, I was worried & about to say my condolences again...They were taking last pictures with the coffin with his father's picture, he was wearing shades but when he saw me (us), he was quite surprised & ashamed that we were there but kind of happy he still managed to smile at me (us). We were on our way to the final place-- of course we were an outcast to his whole clan so we rode a jeepney & we were first to arrive to the cemetery. He accepted the reality I saw him.

I now conclude, maybe , from that day onwards... He took my efforts by/to supporting him the wrong way. He appreciated my effort by making him that fansign, kapoi bya buhat ato nga fansign ai, kapoi pangita og sakto nga angle. Tapos kalas bya mig plete kaayo, nag apas apas mi nila padung menteryo. Wala pod xay mga cm8s nga ning adto kami ra 3, tapos ako man to ang namugos nga mu adto jod. so mao guro to. aw.

Palakasan 2010

We still cwalked, I taught him. He was noob-ish that time, he really wanted to learn. So I taught him. That night, there was a cultural night. We went to the gym. We were quite meters away from our friends we were like cuddling each other but really, I swear there was nothing I felt towards him. & I told him



ui, naa koi ingun

ha? unsa?

ai ayaw nalang

naaaaaah unsa ba

pero ayaw saba ha

lage lage

naa bya koi crush doh, batch ninyo

ha? kinsa?

naaaaah,ayaw saba ha

oh lage

c ------

ahhhh,dghan man jud na crush ana niya sa una pa.



So `twas about 6:30-ish.

I was like


Uy gutum, di pamu mangaon? Papalit ko nimo be!

Huh? walay papalit papalit! dapat kuyog!

in the end kay kami rmn diay duha mamalit, nagpapalit ang uban lang heya!

We were walking nah, it was quite dark najod padulong CBAA canteen. I can feel his shoulders bumping to mine while walking, but `twas kays. Brother you know, kid pa xa so okay ra, taller nga lang. K.

So we arrived to the place, in the canteen. Dghan na kayo kog bitbit nga chips mga junk food nga ginapa palit sa mga nanugo, lang heya aw. atik wruh.

Suddenly he pulled me. Iyang gi bira akong elbows,

"Dali ragud Shan".
in front of his girl friends he asked : "Bagay me?"
friends niya: "Unsamana? bag-o napod?"

IMy insides was like: "huh? nganu mna xa? laina oi. yuck ka luod nah. smni oi."

So I waited him to finish buying food. I walked fast to the gym and sat on the bench, while they sat on the higher level. He offered be some food, I said NO. I was really in the middle of what the hell, super frightened, dude Im so innocent :(

I was thinking & over thinkng & over thinking. I was like eiw, yuck, huh, wth, unsa nalang ang iingon sa uban? nah laina oi, makabalo akong manghod, akong best friends ang mga teachers nooo WTH.

Dli na dayon mi mgpinansinay after that night, after that day. The next day, super awkward because he knew I wasn't feeling the same way. But there was an event the following day, Science month...DUDE he transformed!!! grabe ka azn, my type. Too late. kays. Everyone was saying gwapoha niya pag mu sayaw xa oiii, pag mu sayaw rapod , astiga oii.---basta gwapo jod xa mu sayaw. That day I was thinking why not? coconuT!

hmm, but I'm tight lipped. I never confessed. I hid it & hid & hid, I graduated. I forgot about `em actually. Moved on...

June 2010

1st pagkakita namo was like hiiiiiii shaaaaaaaaan 3x

& now hes got a gf, uh, read my other blog below nalang on how we met each others eyes. :|
samoka oi. K. nasa huli ang pagsisisi. aw. bhala oi. xa ra ba diay? naa pakoi majors atubangon noh. aw. pero. why theseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. tsk. K.