Hello Nineteen

Hello nineteen! Hey, it's been a while since I last visited here. One week passed my birthday and I just couldn't believe that I am on the last year of my teenage life.. NINETEEN. Sounds quite old enough.. But anyway, I thank God for every single blessing he have been showering upon me up to this point. He has been very good to me all these times and I just could stop thanking Him for all these blessings I have now. The people around me are yet so warm, they greet me with their smiling joyous faces every time we meet at the hallway at school, even I do not know exactly each of their names, but they are all so good to me. I'm just simply happy that God put me to this kind of situation in my life right now, I somehow wanted it to be like this. Like giving and sharing smiles to the people and informing the crowd that this is what's going to happen in our society, our school,our college.. I like to be the source of information and being a reliable source is my happiness to make others feel updated.

I have never been so active in school activities. Well, I have been performing since my kindergarten years, I was the one who beat the National Anthem during graduation and I was a folk dancer ever since in elementary but I was drowned to the deepest of my shame when I was in high school since everyone was very excellent and all I did was to observe and I felt so small and noob. But anyway! God is still so great and good to me. I have been exercising my capabilities now and I'm proud for what I am worth living for. That is to serve thy Lord and to serve the people who needs me. I love the people around me right know, I don't care if they are all fake or real to me, as long as I live my day completely and happily, though not that much contented in life, I want so much in life, that's out of reach---but I still know my limits, all those are dreams that are for free and nothing beats each one's imagination. I'm learning to still keep my feet on the ground every opportunity and success I take a step higher and lifts my head a bit higher too, but for all I know, I wouldn't be like this if not for the plans of God and my perseverance as well as the pressure and advises from my family especially the dictator of my life, my best father. The best thing to do is to dream high and aim high but still keeping one's feet on the ground leaves a legacy for who and what you are.

Since I'm nineteen now. I'm big enough to handle hmmm tricky stuffs. I need to grow up, like I need to be good at my house chores since I will be leaving home in the next couple of weeks, I will be going to Cebu for four days and three nights. That's what I'm excited for. I was given a condition weather to go with my blockmates for the said field trip or not. If I won't be going, I will be given plain cash,tax free--and that would add on my allowance for trip to Manila next year to visit my friends and friends of friends since my Unnie and I had dealt that we need to go to Manila together by 2013. But oh well, first things first. I go for Cebu first and save up for Manila next year.

I just can't help comparing myself sometimes---to others, like someone better than me,prettier than me,physically or whatever. One thing I could conclude to all these over-thinking session of mine : There will always be someone better than me out there and all I need is a person who doesn't even care about that. And I need not to say sorry for how I feel,when I say something towards another person, because it's like saying sorry for being real. I am who I am and I don't care if you possess something negative about me, we all live ones life and if you're not contented about yours, then get a life!

Couple of weeks ago, I was about to give up. I saw my sis' facebook page and her quote was something like "surrender when you need to" and I was like,just so wowed about that statement because I understood it in an emotional way. Like, hello LDRs like this and that and I still won't give up until I proved myself what is it like even though LDRs are hard as they say, but yeah, there are alot more ways to keep in touch with the ones you love, there's God,put trust and let him enter the center of our lives. Because the success of a person all depends on who leaves it up to God (with perseverance).

One Step Closer

So today marks one of the most memorable and important day of my life. No,it's not my birthday, but I have come to realize that Luke 11:9 So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.---I could clearly relate to what I have been experiencing now.

And if you don't know, I have been having a long distance relationship with a guy whom I really don't know,I just fell inlove with his personality,like really. He's not even that much expressive or whatever you expect a gentleman could be,like really.Well,anyway just leave it to me.No need to explain why I love that guy. For love has no definite reason :)

So he got my present already!!! And I'm just so dying happy that he showed up in Luneta to pick those up from my "cuzzy". My cuzzy's family have been very supportive, yet there was a kind of drama that went on lately. I actually asked my cuzzy a favor,where infact my bf and him never really have a connection, and both our parents are strict when it comes to our love life that's why we need to cover up. Pretending that he was a college classmate of my cuzzy was the catch. My cuzzy described him as a six-footer korean-ish,swagger-ish,just my type. And Iif could get to see him, I'd definitely fall and knock myself off ten times than the usual. Shhhh,I'm so kileg & purely happy. A gift that is made up of love & care,blood & sweat---too many people involved making those for three months. I'm pretty sure he's happy & realized how much I love him--for real & no doubt. I'd be a fool to let that guy go.

But I really wonder if he'd get to see me. What to wear? How should I look? How to act? Like really, I couldn't even tell my mother about all these since he's a total stranger to my family. Above all, I surrender everything to God. He's given me a guy,more than enough. I'll see him as soon as I get there. Hopefully. Amen.

I B E L I E V E

2011 went so fast! Happy 2012!

I gained so much brilliant experiences that’re deeply engraved in my memory. I come to manage things that were almost going out of control. Through my journey, I come to throb other peoples feelings but mostly I added some bright colors to their precious lives. I gained some new hommies and acquainted some, but still the golden ones remained. And as I survived from this tragic nightmare (Sendong) I conceive the legit sap of life. It’s not what we have but it’s who we are in the midst of suffering,discomfort,hardship and misery.

Couple of people I could recall failed to notice the ambiance of Christmas! But perhaps, I want these people to realize that Christmas isn’t just merely celebrating with yummy food, partying, big Christmas trees with huge boxes of gifts under it, wrapping houses with Christmas lights and receiving material gifts! If you’re one of these, then wake up! In just a blink of an eye, it could all be gone.

Remember, if materialism was ever to satisfy anyone, it would have been Solomon, the richest king the world has ever known. He had absolutely everything and had more of it than anyone, and yet he found it was all worthless and futile. It did not produce happiness or the satisfaction our souls long for. He declared, “He who loves silver shall not be satisfied with silver” (Ecclesiastes 5:10). In the end, Solomon came to the conclusion that we are to “fear God, and keep His commandments. For this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13) (sunflower,yahoo).

Some of my friends left me this early, some didn’t make it due to various tragedies but above all the suffering and pain, according to the Revelation 21:1-7 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”


So get up and we should enliven our minds for the new year! Another chance for everyone to make things better. Let’s take away all the bitterness,pain, and all the negative vibes that keeps us bothered. Better yet to be productive,pro-life,active and serve the Lord,
for in the end—-we will see each other in heaven. =)
p.s. friends,lovers,haters,enemies—grow up and get a life ;*
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


http://xiantian.tumblr.com/

The way you talked to her turned my warm loving precious heart to a fire wrapped with the coldest solid-stoned ice with stinging thorns. Thanks a lot.

OVER?

So we're in this spacious room with my family (ma,pa,sis & me). Pa, brought up some "chikka" to us. It was all about this guy, let's name him CUTIE. So, Cutie's mom concernedly spoke up to my Pa about his son's situation... It's 'coz Cutie's courting a girl aged 13 or 14 from the IDS (the best school in Iligan City inside our University). So Cutie's mom was super bothered of what's happening between the two. My Ma was being judgmental about that 13-year old teenager. Like, she would've stop communicating with Cutie,the issue won't be this sorta big. My Pa advised Cutie's mom to report to the college guidance office.

Sigh* By listening to the tone of my parents' voices conveying their expressions, they're being so overprotective and even more strict since the time my younger sissy was going home late with not so valid reason. (C'mon, she's got a guy already) & my parents were asking me several times already if she's got a BF. & wtf? that's the most awkward topic to be brought to this family. I never answer those kind of questions 'coz,dude,you gotta mind your own business. -----

Hoping for my dog's recovery

It's been six years,i reckon since our family last adopted dogs. We had been losing dogs before due to their weird,unexplained sickness. Like,it's much costly if we consult a vet for them.

My dog had been throwing up for almost a week & he had gotten thinner,weaker,in active & in such a manner...he's dying :( I was actually comfortably sleeping just when my sis alarmed us that my dog was crying while lying,moving his stiffed legs,scratching the floor...and i unacceptably guess that he's in a coma state. He's not even responding but is still breathing. What now? it's almost midnight, I feel so helpless and affected just like his dog playmate--also teary eyed while watching my pet,Choi,dying.

Choi had been a really great pet to this family. He once survived from severe skin itches and allergies. He's been really active like running,playing around and guarding our home. Just when he started eating pieces of cellophane, he slowly suffered... I hope he will recover the next day. I want to see him bright and alert... :(