Hello Nineteen

Hello nineteen! Hey, it's been a while since I last visited here. One week passed my birthday and I just couldn't believe that I am on the last year of my teenage life.. NINETEEN. Sounds quite old enough.. But anyway, I thank God for every single blessing he have been showering upon me up to this point. He has been very good to me all these times and I just could stop thanking Him for all these blessings I have now. The people around me are yet so warm, they greet me with their smiling joyous faces every time we meet at the hallway at school, even I do not know exactly each of their names, but they are all so good to me. I'm just simply happy that God put me to this kind of situation in my life right now, I somehow wanted it to be like this. Like giving and sharing smiles to the people and informing the crowd that this is what's going to happen in our society, our school,our college.. I like to be the source of information and being a reliable source is my happiness to make others feel updated.

I have never been so active in school activities. Well, I have been performing since my kindergarten years, I was the one who beat the National Anthem during graduation and I was a folk dancer ever since in elementary but I was drowned to the deepest of my shame when I was in high school since everyone was very excellent and all I did was to observe and I felt so small and noob. But anyway! God is still so great and good to me. I have been exercising my capabilities now and I'm proud for what I am worth living for. That is to serve thy Lord and to serve the people who needs me. I love the people around me right know, I don't care if they are all fake or real to me, as long as I live my day completely and happily, though not that much contented in life, I want so much in life, that's out of reach---but I still know my limits, all those are dreams that are for free and nothing beats each one's imagination. I'm learning to still keep my feet on the ground every opportunity and success I take a step higher and lifts my head a bit higher too, but for all I know, I wouldn't be like this if not for the plans of God and my perseverance as well as the pressure and advises from my family especially the dictator of my life, my best father. The best thing to do is to dream high and aim high but still keeping one's feet on the ground leaves a legacy for who and what you are.

Since I'm nineteen now. I'm big enough to handle hmmm tricky stuffs. I need to grow up, like I need to be good at my house chores since I will be leaving home in the next couple of weeks, I will be going to Cebu for four days and three nights. That's what I'm excited for. I was given a condition weather to go with my blockmates for the said field trip or not. If I won't be going, I will be given plain cash,tax free--and that would add on my allowance for trip to Manila next year to visit my friends and friends of friends since my Unnie and I had dealt that we need to go to Manila together by 2013. But oh well, first things first. I go for Cebu first and save up for Manila next year.

I just can't help comparing myself sometimes---to others, like someone better than me,prettier than me,physically or whatever. One thing I could conclude to all these over-thinking session of mine : There will always be someone better than me out there and all I need is a person who doesn't even care about that. And I need not to say sorry for how I feel,when I say something towards another person, because it's like saying sorry for being real. I am who I am and I don't care if you possess something negative about me, we all live ones life and if you're not contented about yours, then get a life!

Couple of weeks ago, I was about to give up. I saw my sis' facebook page and her quote was something like "surrender when you need to" and I was like,just so wowed about that statement because I understood it in an emotional way. Like, hello LDRs like this and that and I still won't give up until I proved myself what is it like even though LDRs are hard as they say, but yeah, there are alot more ways to keep in touch with the ones you love, there's God,put trust and let him enter the center of our lives. Because the success of a person all depends on who leaves it up to God (with perseverance).